The Dangerous Tomato

Dear My Toy Garden friends,

Poor Nicholas. His rash was back again and even worse than before. A visit to our pediatrician made a tube of steroid cream appear but the rash to not disappear. I knew enough about health and the power of the human body to heal itself if allowed to at that point to know unless I found the root cause of the rash, it would not go away. We began to watch closely what he ate and discovered the rash seemed to be connected to dairy. Hmmph and yeah! We switched to almond mild...a very easy switch I must say... and the rash cleared a bit...but returned worse than ever. The back of his legs were raised, very itchy, bloody in spots where he could not stop scratching. More pondering and another discovery. The rash seemed to be connected to, of all odd things, tomatoes. Thankful for another non pharmaceutical solution, we eliminated tomatoes and the rash improved but would not go away. Why? We switched to a new pediatrician with a foot in the traditional medicine world and the holistic world who turned out to be a great detective. Tomatoes, she told us, were a member of a group of vegetables called Nightshades and included eggplant, potato, onion and green peppers. Green peppers? Nicholas loved green peppers and would eat them like apples. This is when I learned the craved food is often the source of trouble. After NAET testing and treatments (a subject for 6 more newsletters), we eliminated onions and green peppers as well and the rash faded away.

Based on this experience and the way my daughter's persistent ear infection disappeared once and for all with a gluten free diet, I'm absolutely convinced that nutrition is THE key to restoring health for many children. I'm super excited to have nutritionist Gina Montgomery joining us for a Parent Workshop this month! She'll be with us THIS THURSDAY from 6-7 pm!

I'm also very excited to have in stock, the book pictured below - Cure Your Child With Food by Kelly Dorfman, MS, LND. I've been gobbling it up since I grabbed a copy and am loving it! Tons of practical, well researched information and very helpful tips on what to do to help with a huge host of challenges including picky eating, reflux, stomachaches, ear infections, Constipation, Failure to Grow, Rashes, Sleeplessness, Mood Disorder, ADHD, SPD, Hyperactivity, Speech Delays and much more!

Are you doing your Power 10 each day to learn something new? This book and the topic of nutrition will reap you and your family lifelong benefits. Surely that is worth 10 minutes of time in your day! Stop by My Toy Garden anytime to chat and brainstorm together! Thank you for being part of the conversations that make a difference!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

Be Houdini in Your Kitchn

    The errands of the day were done.  The tasks completed and before us was a treasure box of 30 minutes before bedtime.  What were we to do with such a gift?  Below us in the basement lay the small mountain of birthday gifts recently unwrapped awaiting just such an opportunity.  Lily headed downstairs knowing just which one she wanted to explore first.  She'd thought about it all day hoping there would be time to work on it together with me.  A few moments later, her toothless smiling face emerged and she was clutching the box of science experiments she'd chosen for her birthday bucket.  She was so excited someone has chosen it for her.  
      She read through the various choices of experiments and zeroed in on one.  In moments we had gathered our materials:  baking soda, water, grape juice, paper, paintbrush, cotton balls, beakers and measuring cups and spoons.  We mixed the baking soda and water together and, with her tongue carefully tucked to one side, she spelled out her secret message with the paintbrush.  We let it dry for a bit while we chose another experiment to explore.   Finally, with cotton ball in hand, she dipped it in the grape juice and dabbed it on the paper.  Like magic the letters appeared spelling out, "I Love You".  Moments like that last a lifetime.  I wonder which one we'll do tonight!  
    As part of my many years in the classroom, I had the pleasure of creating and running a K-5 science lab.  Science is like magic to children and they love to explore it!  It is far from the dusty beakers and chemical formulas that may be echoing in your minds.  It's the core of curiosity.  The need to explore the world.  The ying and yang of questions that lead to answers that lead to more questions to explore.  I invite you this week to look at your kitchen a bit differently and have some science fun with us!  It's easy.  I promise.  Some of my favorites are below!  I'd love to hear more about yours on our Facebook page!

  1.  Whose on Bottom?  
     Grab a clear drinking glass or other slender clear glass container.  Gather 5-7 liquids from your kitchen:  milk, oil, syrup, dish soap, pickle juice, mustard, anything will do.  Help your child pour a layer of it in the glass.  Then carefully add a 2nd liquid and watch to see if it sits on top of the first one, sinks to the bottom or mixes together with it.  Follow with a 3rd one carefully. Then a 4th, etc.  Each liquid has it's own density and will rest in their scientific order.  Check out the picture below for one fun glass of liquid layers.  Notice they added a few solids as well for more density explorations.  Fun!

2.  Milk Fireworks
     Fill a shallow dish like a pie pan with milk.  Carefully add 3-4 drops of blue food coloring on one side.  Carefully add 3-4 drops of yellow food coloring to the other side.  Next put some dish soap on your fingertip and then place your finger in the milk next to one of the food coloring pools. What happens?  Try this also with water and pepper.  Science is magic!

3.   Best Volcano ever
     Kids never tire of volcanos especially ones that shoot really high.  The classic experiment of mixing baking soda and vinegar together is so fun to do.  To make your volcano really shoot high, find a funnel that will fit snugly over a bottom container.  If you quickly snap the funnel over the top after adding the vinegar to the baking soda, the pressure will build and shoot the volcano way up high through the funnel.   Love it!  I confess that this was actually the unity ceremony when my husband and I married complete with test tubes of pink and blue liquids, a graduated cylindar and ribbons.   True story.  :-)  

4.  Rise Young Egg Rise!  
      Be a Houdini in your own kitchen and make an egg rise all by itself.  Place an egg in a glass of water.  Slowly begin to sprinkle salt in the glass.  Sprinkle more salt and more....watch what happens.  Tada!  Now how to make that work with a lady?

5.  PeYew!  
     Grab some 3x5 index cards, some glue and a collection of fun smells from the spice cabinet.   Put some glue on one side of the card and cover it with a spice such as garlic, cinnamon, oregano, etc.  Label it.  Then either let littles ones explore the myriad of smells or older children can play a blind man's bluff guessing game with the cards.

6.  Green = ? + ?
    Grab a coffee filter and a secondary color marker (purple, green or orange).  Cut a strip from the coffee filter and color a dot with one of the markers about half way up it.  Place the bottom edge in water and observe what happens.  Great color unmixing experiment!  Another classic one is to put a white flower in food coloring and see what happens.  Last year, Lily and I spliced the stem of a carnation and put half of it in yellow water and half into blue water.  What do you think happened?  

Playfully, 
Toylady Janet

A Dark Cloud in the Garden

Dear My Toy Garden friends,

She was angry with me. Very angry and told me so very clearly. Perhaps this has happened to you. You check your email and waiting for you there is a verbal bomb ready to explode. That was the case for me last week at My Toy Garden. In support of Autism Awareness/Autism Action Month, I posted a comment on our Facebook page about autism. This is a topic I am very passionate about and wanted to write about anyway this week. I invite you to read her email below and my reply. Along the way you will learn my thoughts on the autism challenges we face as well as two other lessons I invite you to ponder this week as you read. If you have time for nothing else this week, I invite you to at a minimum please scroll down and watch the included video. 
1) Sometimes you have to respectfully stand up for what you believe in and engage others in conversation about it. It is a wonderful thing to disagree with one another. It is only through difficult conversations like the one below that both sides can grow in understanding of one another and themselves. Moving thoughtlessly and carefree through your days does no one any good in the long run. Conversations like this is a huge part of why I opened My Toy Garden. I applaud the writer of this email for writing me and respectfully sharing her frustrations and giving us the chance to talk. 

2) Anger can be a very good thing. This customer was and perhaps is still very angry with me. I know there have been times I've been very angry myself about something. In handsight, I know those have been some of my greatest growth moments. Sometimes we have to get angry to change our thoughts and therefore our actions and sometimes the second look it gives us, further cements our beliefs. Both can be good things. When someone is angry with you, try to see beyond the surface of the anger to the heart of the person and seek to understand. I wish you growth this week and look forward to more conversations with you!

The Email

"Hello. I was one of the commenters on your Facebook post yesterday about Autism Awareness. I have since removed my post and unfollowed your page, but I also feel compelled to tell you why I chose to do so.

When you use language about how autism prevention is necessary, you are being hurtful to autistic people. When you provide a link that is devoted to eradicating autism, your are spreading the myth that autistic people's lives are not worth as much as neurotypical people's lives. When that same link suggests ways to "cure" your child from autism, you are suggesting that our children's lives are not complete because of their autism. When you continue to comment as part of the discussion that we need to slow or eventually reverse the number of children being diagnosed with autism, you once again confirm the idea that there is something inherently wrong with being autistic.

There is no cure for autism. Autism is not a disease; it is a neurological condition. The only proven effective treatment for autism is ABA Therapy. Biomedical treatments have simply not been proven effective.

When my boys were diagnosed with autism this past year, I did put them on the gluten/casein free diet. I tried the supplements. They were not cured or improved by any of these methods. I have met several parents who swear by the biomedical treatments, but what I did with my children is just the tip of the iceberg. After diet and supplements, you are to eliminate all fruit. Then you start the antifungal treatments. Then the chelation treatments. Then the enemas. Then the hyberbaric oxygen therapy. The options are endless. Yet these children are still autistic.

I can only speak from my own experience, but I can tell you that these desperate mothers and fathers that you and I have met are not in need of a cure for their children. They are in need of a more accepting and inviting world to live in. There is nothing wrong with my children. They are wonderful, sweet, bright, loving little boys who have done nothing to deserve the world's backlash against their neurological condition that is ingrained in who they are. There is no removing of autism from them. There is no cure for this. There is no need to find a cure. Autistic people are not new. They are not a creation of vaccines or the government not caring. They've always been here, and there's a whole host of autistic adults who are self advocating and calling for our society to accept them. My children are not burdens; they are not to be pitied. I do not need sympathy from others for parenting autistic children. I just need people to understand that everyone is different. Everyone has challenges.

And to tell me that I need to work on a cure for my children is akin to telling me that you don't accept my children. To write that we need to reduce the number of autistic children is akin to telling me that you don't want my children to exist. Your language and thinking is hurtful.

Since learning more about autism, I have been made aware of the prejudice against autistic individuals. I see the comments people write online. I feel the blame people put on me for creating autistic children. And I know that my boys will also be discriminated against because of their neurological differences. That breaks my heart. No person should ever be made to feel like they are "less than." No person should feel shame for just existing, for being different. We don't have an autism crisis on our hands; we have an empathy crisis by our world.

I have no intention of changing your mind or thinking on this topic. I simply had to share my story, and why I don't feel comfortable buying from your shop anymore. This world would be a better place if we stop thinking that our way of being is the only way of being. I was able to fully accept my children once I stopped trying to make them into what I thought they needed to be. I simply needed to learn their language, and what they have to say is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for your time."

My Reply 
"Thank you so much for your heartfelt email today. I always appreciate knowing the thoughts of the My Toy Garden customers. I created this store for just such conversations. The staff and I often say that the least of what we do is sell toys. My heart is to make a difference in the community however I can and I believe conversations about difficult topics like this where there are such strong feelings on both sides are important. So, thank you sincerely for opening your heart and putting it into words.

I am very sorry that my words made you feel that I feel any negativity at all towards your children or others with special needs. That would never ever be my intention. I have spent my entire career working alongside families of all types. I was a classroom teacher for 17 years teaching everything from preschool to 8th grade. I always had the "challenging" class because principals quickly knew that I would love every child who came into my class no matter what joys or challenges they brought with them. I've had the complete honor to work with many children on the spectrum and their families over the years. I was also a leader with Discovery Toys for many years and spent hundreds of hours in living rooms and at conferences working with all sorts of families as well. I have been there many times through the initial puzzling of the pieces, through the testing, the diagnosis, and the processing afterwards of what is best for this particular child and family..through the tears and fears and joys and celebrations over the tiniest of things. I feel that in each and every case I looked at the wonderful things in each child and lifted them up as well as identified the challenges and did everything in my power to lift those up as well. So, for you to feel that I, in any way, had any negative intent in my words grieves me. I do apologize for that.

One area we have different opinions on is what can and should be done to support those on this journey. Through my years I have seen so many things including many true miracles. I have seen families who have seen their children change dramatically before their eyes....children who have lost all speech, all communication, lost most of who they were and in the parent's words "become a shell of a child." I've seen many of those same families through sheer determination and lots of education reverse the situation. I've seen those same children regain their speech, regain their communication, regain their cognitive processing, regain their fine and gross motor skills, regain their lives again. I've seen it with my very eyes more than once. I know with every fiber of my being that it is possible. Easy? No. Painstakingly slow? Yes. Different for every child. Absolutely. But I do believe there is a mountain of things we can do to prevent more children from beginning this journey and a mountain of things we can do to create a future for others already on the path than can make their life a bit easier. Does this mean in any way that I do not absolutely believe in celebrating each child as they are? Emphatically not. Every human being is to be loved for who they are. And with love, if there were even the slightest possibility of making life easier for them, why wouldn't we pursue it and learn more? My Toy Garden proudly partners with TACA...Talk About Curing Autism. They have done so much good for so many and I'm glad to do whatever I can to support them in the important work they do. I invite you to watch this video from their website. I think you will find it interesting. There website is a treasure trove of support for everyone who wants to know more about autism.

http://www.tacanow.org/family-resources/autism-hope-after-diagnosis/http://www.tacanow.org/family-resources/autism-hope-after-diagnosis/

I am sorry that you choose to take your post down from the My Toy Garden Facebook page. You had some wonderful comments to add to the conversation. I would invite you to rejoin the conversations so that others may learn from you and you from them. I sincerely do hope that we can continue the conversation as well. I would love for you to return to My Toy Garden so we can grow together. Peace be with you. "

Playfully, 
Toylady Janet

The Overnight Garden

Dear My Toy Garden friends!

There were four moms. Each with a toddler tucked in a high chair next to them making a perfect mom/toddler/mom pattern around the table. A sunny day and a fun outing prompted Nicholas and I to stop for lunch at a favorite spot of ours and landed us at the neighboring table to these moms. Their conversation began with how much they all loved Amazon Prime and how much money it saved them. My shoulders sagged a bit. Next came how crazy their children were about Elmo. My shoulders dropped a bit more. Another shift in conversation and the toddlers became a bit fidgety. An arsenal of snacks appeared....all highly processed with a rainbow of color additives accompanied by sippy cups filled with milk. When that was followed by the handing over of the Iphones like synchronized swimmers, I confess I think I sighed an audible sigh.

Let me insert here. I am not perfect. I am far from it. I impulse buy candy bars at the grocery checkout, drink beer, find excuses not to exercise and lose my temper with my children. No one is perfect and no one should ever expect to be. What I also am is a learner. My choices today are colored very much by my daily commitment to learn something new. Who I am today is a very different person...thankfully...from who I was a year ago, 5 years ago...to think back 10 or 20 years, I laugh at myself. My habits then included a 2 lb bag of M&M's weekly and a daily stop at McDonald's for a small fry and an ice cream cone.

Imagine with me if you would a garden. One filled with gorgeous flowers carefully planned and cared for whose colors spill from one bed to the next drawing the eye onward and inward at the same time. How did that garden get there? Were seeds planted one day and then magically all was amazing the next? Sadly, there are no overnight gardens. Gardens, like behaviors, are grown over a long period of time and are ever changing. Seeds are planted. Watered. Plants begin to grow. Weeds are pulled. Plants are pruned. Plants moved to other areas to grow better. New plants are selected and cultivated. Over time...weeks, months, years...beauty grows in gardens and in our lives.

This week I invite you to look at your behaviors...your life choices. Are you a people or a sheeple? Sheep graze with little thought of their course. People have the gift of learning given to them. Choose one area you'd like to know more about....child development, nutrition, media influences, exercise, schooling, religion, anything....and devote 10 minutes a day to growing your garden.(See this previous Power 10 newsletter.) Make your daily choices grounded in facts that your mind is hungry to know rather than blindly following others. You'll soon be enjoying the beauty of your knowledge and will find choices you once had are hard to imagine doing again.

I invite you then to take it one step farther and go plant some seeds in someone else's garden to see what might bloom. I did have a conversation with the moms that day about dairy and if just one of them paused to think for a minute and perhaps consider learning more, my little seed might have grown some roots. Go share your seeds that you are passionate about! Bouquets are always best when they are shared aren't they?

Rendevous With my Neighbor

    Is that a knob?  Oh, it's the cat!  Where is that teacup handle?  Yes!  There it is!  Conversations you would recently have overheard at my kitchen table.  You see, my neighbor, Libbi and I are moms like many of you. We have laundry to do, meals to plan, children to chase, schedules to arrange.  About a month ago, we decided to be rebels and chuck all that aside for a blissful hour here and a treasured hour there.   A text or two between us and a rendevouz was planned!  My kitchen table during naptime on a Sunday afternoon.  What awaited us?  A 550 piece jigsaw puzzle!  All adult size pieces.  :-)
     For 3 Sunday afternoons, she and I laughed together, talked together, puzzled together.  Neither of us could remember the last time we'd done a grown up puzzle.  And you know what?  We liked it!! Alot!  We had so much fun watching the picture slowly develop below our fingertips, one side ebbing forward and then the other.  First she finding the errant piece and then I.  When we got to the last 10 pieces, we lined them up in a row and had a grand countdown to celebrate.  We can't wait to do it again!
       I share this story with you this week to invite you to do the same....play!  Don't let the children have all the fun.  One of the most frequent comments we get from people is "I don't have any children."  or "My children are all grown up."  So?!  You need to play too!  Here's a few of about a billion articles you can use as frig art or slip into your boss' mailbox.

From the Huffington Post... 
     "Play isn't a character defect; it's the builder of character, developing persistence, competence, mastery and social skills that take us beyond perceived limitations."  

     "When it comes to beefing up your happiness, it's hard to do better than engaged play. Not only does it align you with your deepest needs and deliver fun in the moment, but the social component of play is a huge predictor of increased daily well-being, the research shows."

    "Studies show that playfulness can increase performance on the job and stoke creativity by breaking up the mental set that keeps us stuck. It resets the brain. "

From First Things First....
      "studies show that a life lived without play is at increased risk for stress related diseases, mental health issues, addiction and interpersonal violence."

       Dr. Brown author of Play!
      "But Dr. Brown's research began with a study of Charles Whitman, an engineering student at the University of Texas who climbed a tower and murdered 14 people. An examination of Whitman's past indicated that although he was a leading Eagle Scout, play was missing from his childhood, "systematically suppressed by a very aggressive, disturbed, and cruel father."
     "Brown subsequently accumulated the play history of 6,000 convicted murderers, car drivers who killed people, and Nobel Laureates. He also found that most of the memories of survivors of the attack on the World Trade Center were of play."


         My Toy Garden specifically carries lots of items to stimulate your brain to keep it young and healthy as well as add a giant dose of laughter to your days.  Don't let those children have all the fun! Stop by on your lunch hour or while the children are at school and play a game with us!

Me Do It? No, You Do It!

Dear My Toy Garden friends!

 The clock ticks toward 8 pm and the next episode of the Bachelor is calling you. All you need to do is get the children snuggled into bed and then you settle on the couch for some grown up time. So close! The playroom is a disaster though...hmm... You have 2 choices. Choice #1: Pick them up yourself...again. This ensures that you will be the one picking them up tomorrow and the next day and the next. Choice #2: Use on of Toylady Janet's tips below to turn your child into a toy picking up machine making clean up time quick and fun and enable them to one day be able to live on their own. Which do you choose?
My secrets...
#1 - Follow the ideas from a previous newsletter of limiting the number of toys out and getting them organized into small labeled bins. Please see the My Toy Garden blog to read it again.
#2 - Set a Timer - Races are so fun! Bet you we can't clean this up before the time goes off? Your phone has a timer on it with a fun sound. Set it to quack, buss, doink or vroom and watch the toys disappear. Timers work well with many of the ideas below.
#3 - Create a Pile - Push toys into 2 piles. A small pile is less overwhelming than toys strewn all over the room. Say, "This pile is yours to put away and this pile is mine. When you have yours put away, you get to blank."  Make the blank something fun they want to do. Go outside, play a game, do a craft, eat a snack. Be consistent with your expectations and you'll see the pile disappear faster and faster.
#4 - Pick a Color - Try saying, "What color are you going to pick up?"  or "You pick up the blue ones and I'll pick up the red ones"  Giving a color helps them tune into a few pieces making the task seem more doable.
#5 - Pitch it - With toys with lots of pieces, it's much more fun to throw them than to pick them up. Keep blocks and such toys and then let them wind up their pitcher's arm and pitch them in. Keep score of how many make it in.
#6 - Special Basket - Have a special basket just for cleaning up. One for each child. Let them fill their baskets with goodies of the day and deliver them like a mailman to their proper homes. My Toy Garden carries cute shopping baskets that would work great for this!

And Then There's This...

Dear My Toy Garden friends!

     Kathy is job hunting again.  Writing her resume.   Collecting her references.  Looking at the Help Wanted ads.  This was not her plan.  Like many out of work adults, life handed her a twist and she finds herself unemployed worrying about the future for her husband and 2 children.   Kathy's employer was not a large company.   Her employer didn't downsize.  Her employer didn't merge with someone else and eliminate her job.
    Once upon a time, Kathy was a teacher.  An elementary teacher and she loved her job very much.  She poured her time and talents and compassion into her students.  She wanted something more.  She wanted to make an even bigger difference.   So she started to put her dreams into action.  It took a few years to put the gears into place and be ready to flip the switch but in 2007, it happened.  She and her husband celebrated the Grand Opening of Toys in the Attic! What a joyous time that was!  Old and new friends came to play, to connect, to be inspired.  The first year or two were all she dreamed them to be.
     Then the economy began to shake and stumble.  The town she lived in had it's fingers dug deeply into the new housing market.  As dollars got tighter, fewer homes were built.  The local families saw their paychecks shrink.  People visited Toys in the Attic less and less.  Kathy did what she could to let people know she was there for them.  She carefully selected uinque products that were affordable yet allowed her to pay her bills.  She was there with a listening ear, a hug, a parenting tip for the puzzled parent.  She gift wrapped for free.  She offered community events that provided much needed distractions.  It wasn't enough.
    People turned to online websites and big box stores to make what purchases they could.   Their dollars left the local economy of Kathy's small town impacting Kathy's budget and sending a ripple effect out to the schools, public safety departments and other groups that counted on sales tax dollars to fund their efforts.   A few weeks ago, after many months of doing everything she could, Kathy very sadly hung the "Out of Business" sign on the front door.   She posted the picture below on her Facebook page simply captioned, "And then there's this..."   Please send a prayer for her and her family as they seek the next steps of their journey.
    I wish I could report to you that this does not happen in our own backyard.  It does.  My heart breaks to see KissZCook on 116th now with darkened windows and empty floorspace.  Mudsocks Books on 116th and Allisonville announced 2 weeks ago that they are closing.  Anyone who did not go visit their charming bookstore with treasures tucked here and there complete with a store cat missed a very special experience.  An experience I guarantee you your Kindle or Nook will never provide.  After several emails clearly stating their plight, they will soon hang an "Out of Business" sign up as well.
     As I hear stories such as these, my prayers are said for My Toy Garden.  I'm so very thankful for your support and love in our first year and half and I know that it is only through your continued love and support that we will be here for many years to come making a difference in every way we can.  Please keep us and other locally owned stores in mind as you choose where to spend those precious, powerful dollars that you have.   Only you can prevent "Out of Business" signs.

Playfully,
Toylady Janet