7 Seeds to Celebrate

Dear My Toy Garden Friends,

It really is what childbirth is like I image. Being an adoptive mom, I can't know for sure but I suspect birthing a toy store has it's parallels to this life experience. The clock was zooming forward, my pillow was a stranger, Pizza King was by new best friend and I had a laser focus on one day...opening day of My Toy Garden! A year ago, I was challenged by pregnant shelves stacked with unopened boxes of toys. A new Mac computer with new Lion software that didn't want to play nice with my new Point of Sale software. It took us 4 days to figure out why my keyboard kept flipping into Japanese mode. There was soooo much to be done before clicking on the Open sign for the first time and delivering this miracle for everyone to enjoy.

We're turning one and it's time to celebrate!! Here are my thoughts on a few seeds that have been planted this year and dreams that will grow from them.

1. Be Determined - My mantra said daily on the edge of my bed each morning for at least a year before My Toy Garden came to be was Dream, Decide, Do. Three powerful little words. Try them repeated over and over and see what adventures they lead you to!
2. Be Consistent - When there are systems in place, all flows much more smoothly. This is true for bedtime routines for children and certainly true at My Toy Garden. Writing these routines down one by one makes it clear for all what is to be done when and how. Confidence grows and hearts are happy. What routine do you need to clarify and be more consistent about at home or at work?
3. Ask for Help - I've been totally overwhelmed by all the help I've received this year!!! Thank you to all who have volunteered to help with windows, filled in so I could step way when needed, helped with wrapping, worked special events. I adore you! We tend to think we can do it all ourselves. That's not true. We are human and need help. Ask and you'll find yourself surrounded in love.
4. Have a Budget - This has been a major learning curve for me this year. I've surprised myself at my skills in this area. Having a budget that is clear about past spending and conservative about future spending is so freeing! It gives you control over small and large financial decisions and peace of mind to your days. Do you have a detailed budget for your household that you update and discuss monthly?
5. Welcome All - My goal was for all to feel truly welcome at My Toy Garden and I feel that we have accomplished that goal. From moms with extra smelly children who use our Mommy Emergency Kit to the customer who grunts when they arrive and leaves smiling to the special needs child whose Mom now knows they are very welcome with us no matter what. All are welcome. Period.
6. Celebrate Small Steps - Our tendency is to want more, to make it better. I want to add so many more classes, camps, services but I know that in order to maintain the level of quality products and quality customer service you've come to know, I need to let growth happen slowly. The staff and I celebrate all that we already offer and do well. Celebrate the good things you do! What have you patted yourself on the back for lately?
7. Take Time for Self - My to do list, like yours, is like a dry sponge shoved in a bucket of water. I commit myself to take 2 days a week and step completely away from the store. I spend quality time with my 2 young children and my husband. I treasure these moments while my chlidren are young. I take a 20 minute nap in the afternoon on my days off. The store seems to survive my absences, thanks to my amazing staff, and I return to the garden renewed each time and ready to make a difference on a new day! Do you take time for yourself on a regular basis?

Thank you so much for making this first year completely amazing! Your kind words, repeat visits, referrals to friends and family make my heart swell and gives me tremendous hope for the future, for us and for our children as we grow and play together. Bless you.

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

Those Frozen Moment in Time

Dear My Toy Garden Friends, You are running late for work. You open the refrigerator door. Your hand reaches in and wraps around the orange juice carton. Your muscles flex and the carton lifts from the shelf. You pull it closer to you and you feel it slip from your hand. You watch as it falls in the floor suddenly caught in a slow motion camera of the eye. The corner hits the floor, dents and an ocean of orange juice gushes like a time elapsed photography lesson over the top and across the kitchen floor. You know those moments when time seems to freeze? It happens with every day things like orange juice slipping from your hand. It happens with major things. This summer, the Ash family had one of those moments that has changed their lives forever. They were on vacation with their family...mom, dad and 3 adorable little girls. They were headed out for some fun. With a group, they crossed a street as a driver, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, impatiently waited. As they crossed past him, he hurried on his way. What he didn't realize was that Kendall, the 5-year-old, had lagged behind the group and her crossing put her right in his path. I'm sure it must have been one of those slow motion moments for her parents, Tracy and Mike. One in which you'd do anything to truly have it freeze completely so you could move your child to safety. Kendall's journey of recovery has gone from critical care at DeVos hospital to inpatient at Riley to now returning home with lots of outpatient therapy and the daily worries of her parents, family and friends. She has now even begun her Kindergarten year, at the same school as my daughter, with 2 hours a day there. A long road still lies ahead for all of them. Please see the Care Pages link to learn more about her story and how you can support them with your prayers. Please hug your children... .....hold their hand as you cross the street or parking lot, .....teach them to look right, left, right again before crossing .....make sure they have helmets that fit and are worn correctly. .....as you drive, be extra vigilant. ....slow down and be extra aware of your surroundings both for enjoyment and for safety. Teach your children the same. I so admire her parents, Tracy and Mike Ash, as they work to balance all that has been handed them. I'm so thankful for the community of love that has surrounded them and prays for them. I'm honored to have an opportunity with the first My Toy Garden birthday party just ahead to give 20% of our sales that day to this special family to celebrate that Kendall is here to celebrate many more birthdays of her own and help ease a bit of the financial burden this experience has brought. Please join us and invite your friends to join us on Sat., Sept. 8 from 10-4 pm and help us help the Ash family. If you are not able to attend and would like to make a donation to the family, you may drop it off at the store anytime and we'll make sure they receive it. Thank you! Playfully, Toylady Janet

Sitting in My Office With Tears in My Eyes

Dear My Toy Garden friends,

Oh my.   It really is as hard as they say it will be.  I tried to prepare myself.  I tried to savor the last few days but here I sit in the rubble of my office sniffing with a box of Kleenex close at hand.  My little girl is officially off to Kindergarten today.
     As the piles around my office will attest, my focus has been on treasuring the last few days with my sweet girl. We went back to school shopping and found a fabulous sparkly skirt for the first day of school, sniffed some perfume for a touch of fancy, dined together and went to see her first big girl movie, Brave.  Another day yesterday filled with State Fair fun, hugs, kisses and denial that the dawn would bring a major change for our family.
     The sun could not be stopped though and this morning, Daddy, little brother and I walked her across the street to school. She was giddy, prancing like a pony, about to be set free.  A smile on her face containing more excitement than a million dollar lottery ticket holder.  Her Mama's heart though was full of many emotions.  I was excited for her as well to have reached this major milestone. Sad for the time lost with her lounging in the morning connecting. Excited to have some one-on-one time with her little brother to connect with him more.  Nervous for the friends she will make and hope that she'll make good ones.  Cautious, as a veteran elementary teacher, and knowing the challenges that come with the job.  Happy to be part of a new community full of possibilities.
      One of the toughest parts of parenting is learning to let your children go.  To give them their wings and freedom to explore the world.  As much as we want to envelope our children in our embrace and promise them that no harm will ever come to them, we know that is not reality.  Life will lead them to times of great joy and great sadness.  Our job is to nudge them out of the nest from time to time to strengthen their wings so one day they will fly high and make positive changes in the world in their own way.
   My Toy Garden sells toys.  Yes, that's true.  We are so much more than selling toys though.  This is a place where you can come and be listened to, cared for, hugged and celebrated for the tough work you do!  Thank you for being part of our family and letting us be part of yours!  May this new school year be full of many blessings for each of you!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

1, 2, 7, 9, 13, 4, 10!

Dear My Toy Garden friends,

Pssst....School is starting soon.  Sorry.  I have a little girl about to start Kindergarten so I understand more how heavy that calendar page is to turn.  Turn it we must and with it our thoughts begin to turn to the reading, 'ritin and 'rithmatic that comes with back to school.  What area(s) does your learner excel in?  Which do they find more challenging?  There are lots of easy way you can weave all academic areas into everyday life that will boost your child's confidence and make learning fun!  Below are a few ideas I've shared with families during my 17 years as a classroom teacher on how to make math click!  What other ideas do you have to add?  Please add your ideas to our Facebook back by clicking [here!](http://www.facebook.com/mytoygarden)

1.  Estimate and Count - How many cracks do you think are in the sidewalk between here and the road?  How many crayons do you think are in that bucket?  How many cars do you think we'll pass on the way to the grocery store? Estimate and then count to see how close your guess is.  This builds a strong number sense for children.  When you can invite them to count by 2's, 5's or 10's.

2.  Finger Flash - Another way to develop number sense for preschool/Kind age children, is flash your fingers showing a number and invite your child to see how fast they can tell you how may there are.  Ask to them to tell you how they know.  For example, hold up 5 on one hand and 3 on the other.  They shout, 8! and perhaps explain that they saw 5 and then counted 6, 7, 8.  Or maybe they saw 2 fingers down and knew it was 8 because they counted backwards from 10, 9, 8.  This should move them beyond counting 1 by 1 to grouping numbers and adding on.  Knowing more than one way to tackle a problem is a powerful thing!

3. Clock - Best way to teach a child how to tell time is to have a real clock...the old fashioned one with actual hands that tick tock their way around the face marking off each second, minute and hour.  With all digital clocks around you, it's challenging to understand the concepts of time.

4.  Carry Cash - Same is true with money.  When children always see a magic piece of plastic that when it gets swiped through a box and they get handed something, it's hard to develop money concepts.  Carry cash yourself for small purchases and have your child help you determine if you have enough, what your change should be, counting coins.  Give them an allowance of their own and teach them to spend, save and earn.  My Toy Garden's Moonjars are a very popular item for this reason!

5. Play Games - A few dice from our giant bowl of dice gives you lots of math games literally at your fingertips!  We have a whole math section of games including Flip 4, Sequence Numbers, and Loose Change.  One of the top sellers is the Learning Wrap Ups pictured below.  Pocket sized math fun that encourages children to quickly wrap the string around matching up facts and then self checking with the raised lines on the back to build confidence.  I had these in my classroom for many years and loved them!!

It won't be long until those new school routines are up and going. My Toy Garden is to help you along the way!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

5 Pairs of Shoes All Neat in a Row

Dear My Toy Garden friends,

Ding Dong. They were here. I'd been nervous about their arrival all morning. She'd asked if she could bring a few extra children along to the playdate. "Sure!" I'd said but my my inner voice thought....A few extra? How many? Who? Do they eat crayons? Will my cat be safe? The images that danced through my head were ones that often led to the need to go find my happy place. The moment had arrived and here they were. As the door swung open I saw her smiling face with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 smiles lined up behind her. They all had their hair brushed, ponytails perfectly poised and were wearing 2 shoes that matched. Those matched shoes were taken off and lined up neatly in pairs by their owners who all gave me a cheery, "Hi Mrs. Pillsbury! Thank you for inviting us over!"

Two hours passed and not a fuss, not a bother, not a "That's Mine" was heard. Instead, "Your turn", "Please" and "Thank you" were the norm of the morn. Time to go was greeted with an "Okay!" and a magical elf like whisking away of the toys to their proper places. Shoes returned to the proper feet. Each child thanked me for coming and quietly left.

What?!?! How does that happen?! Were they beaten before they came and threatened to be beaten afterwards? Nope, Sarah just knew the key to getting great behavior from children. Want to know more? Her secrets are revealed below.

Step #1 - Decide on Your Non-negotiables. What behavior is a must have in your home? Focus on one behavior at a time. Let some things slide to focus on the one that matters most to you. Children are human after all and make mistakes. Good behavior is taught and mastered with practice. It is not part of the DNA that suddenly sprouts when needed.

Step #2 - Explain the Chosen Behavior Clearly. Often times we expect children to read our minds. Why do they not know what "behave" means? Respectfully, calmly, clearly explain what is expected of them. Have eye contact and ask them to repeat to be sure the words didn't fall in one side and out the other.

Step #3 - Use Positive Phrasing. Say, "Don't Run" or "Don't Hit" to a child and what they hear is "Run!" and "Hit!" The negative words seems to fall away and the other word given more emphasis than ever. Try "Walk please" or "Be gentle with your hands please" instead. Phrasing desired behavior in positive terms makes it heard more clearly and more likely to be followed.

Step #4 - Adopt a Mantra. Choose a phrase that when the going gets tough, you can murmur over and over to your child like a broken record until that phase has past. For me, it's "This is What We Do." But I want....this is what we do. But I need....this is what we do. If I.....this is what we do. If you are consistent when they are persistent, you will reach your goal in the long run. Cave once...just once... and you'll take 4 times longer to reach the goal than you would have. We are the grown ups. We just need to do it one more time than they do. Trust me. It's sooo worth it in the long run!

Step #5 - Repeat with the next non-negotiable behavior. I've used this technique with both of my children from everything from please and thank you to potty training them both by age 2. Parenting is a super tough job and you can do it with a little help from your My Toy Garden friends! We're here for you!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet