Pearls from a Crabby Man's Wife

Dear My Toy Garden Friends,

Vacations are a flowing stream of memories created and captured and treasured. Our trip to Florida over the last few days was no different. Days filled with sand castles, wave jumping, lizard catching, crabs and seashells. As I sit tonight and reflect over the last 6 days visiting my husband's father and stepmother, it is not an image of my children playing that stands out the most though there are plenty of fun images to treasure. It is a comment uttered while perched on the top of a palm tree trunk on a sunny day at the beach. A comment that soaked into my heart like the warmth of the sun. It's amazing how God puts us in the right place at the right time to hear what we most need to hear. This week, I share her words so that they may be just what you need to hear as well.

Sam, my father-n-law, has a talent for growing peppers and has a refrigerator full of his culinary creations. His personality is as peppery. He reads a great deal, trimming out articles from magazines and newspaper, underlining and highlighting them and gathering them together in a great brain mass of paper jumbled across the kitchen counter. He is quick to point out that he is right and you are wrong. He knows best and, if you just listen to him, all will be well. A jab there. A poke there. Frequently criticizing but seldom aware of it. Not an easy man to be married to.

My beach buddy yesterday was his wife of 40 years, Chris. I've wondered at the mystery of how this woman could be married to this man after all the years putting up with so much. Now I know her secret.

Just down the beach a young couple seemed to be enjoying capturing their visit to the beach with a series of photos. "Ah, young love," I commented.

"Young love? Nah. I'd rather have old love. It's much better. It's calm. It's sure. It's strong."

"It's all about compromise," she continued. "If you are married to a man who is no good, then move on. If you are married to a good man, you compromise and make it work." Compromise...such a hard word in this egocentric world of I must be right and you must be wrong. Compromise...challenging in this quest to find the perfect partner only to learn that truly, no one is perfect. Compromise...the forgiving, the letting go, the seeking peace, the lifting up of the other. Compromise....the give and take that makes love grow from young love to old love...calm. Sure. Strong. Thank you Chris for the gift of love....true love that lasts. I can think of no greater gift to give ourselves or model for our children.

Playfully, 
Toylady Janet