And Then There's This...

Dear My Toy Garden friends!

     Kathy is job hunting again.  Writing her resume.   Collecting her references.  Looking at the Help Wanted ads.  This was not her plan.  Like many out of work adults, life handed her a twist and she finds herself unemployed worrying about the future for her husband and 2 children.   Kathy's employer was not a large company.   Her employer didn't downsize.  Her employer didn't merge with someone else and eliminate her job.
    Once upon a time, Kathy was a teacher.  An elementary teacher and she loved her job very much.  She poured her time and talents and compassion into her students.  She wanted something more.  She wanted to make an even bigger difference.   So she started to put her dreams into action.  It took a few years to put the gears into place and be ready to flip the switch but in 2007, it happened.  She and her husband celebrated the Grand Opening of Toys in the Attic! What a joyous time that was!  Old and new friends came to play, to connect, to be inspired.  The first year or two were all she dreamed them to be.
     Then the economy began to shake and stumble.  The town she lived in had it's fingers dug deeply into the new housing market.  As dollars got tighter, fewer homes were built.  The local families saw their paychecks shrink.  People visited Toys in the Attic less and less.  Kathy did what she could to let people know she was there for them.  She carefully selected uinque products that were affordable yet allowed her to pay her bills.  She was there with a listening ear, a hug, a parenting tip for the puzzled parent.  She gift wrapped for free.  She offered community events that provided much needed distractions.  It wasn't enough.
    People turned to online websites and big box stores to make what purchases they could.   Their dollars left the local economy of Kathy's small town impacting Kathy's budget and sending a ripple effect out to the schools, public safety departments and other groups that counted on sales tax dollars to fund their efforts.   A few weeks ago, after many months of doing everything she could, Kathy very sadly hung the "Out of Business" sign on the front door.   She posted the picture below on her Facebook page simply captioned, "And then there's this..."   Please send a prayer for her and her family as they seek the next steps of their journey.
    I wish I could report to you that this does not happen in our own backyard.  It does.  My heart breaks to see KissZCook on 116th now with darkened windows and empty floorspace.  Mudsocks Books on 116th and Allisonville announced 2 weeks ago that they are closing.  Anyone who did not go visit their charming bookstore with treasures tucked here and there complete with a store cat missed a very special experience.  An experience I guarantee you your Kindle or Nook will never provide.  After several emails clearly stating their plight, they will soon hang an "Out of Business" sign up as well.
     As I hear stories such as these, my prayers are said for My Toy Garden.  I'm so very thankful for your support and love in our first year and half and I know that it is only through your continued love and support that we will be here for many years to come making a difference in every way we can.  Please keep us and other locally owned stores in mind as you choose where to spend those precious, powerful dollars that you have.   Only you can prevent "Out of Business" signs.

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

Let's Get Messy and Dance a Bit!

Dear My Toy Garden friends!

The kitchen table is covered in paper scraps, glue sticks, markers, buttons, tape, pipe cleaners, paintbrushes, random crumbs and stickers. As busy moms struggling to curb the waves of objects that cover every surface of our homes, this scene is one that can cause a moment's furrowed eyebrows. This week I invite you to invite a bit of a mess to your home. Pull out those craft supplies. Pull out those dress up clothes. Turn on a favorite CD and dance away as a family. All for the sake of art. All for the sake of our children who need these important skills. Enjoy this article below! I've listed some of my favorite arts sources at the bottom that my children and I have enjoyed.

This was written by Lisa Phillips is an author, blog journalist, arts and leadership educator, speaker and business owner. Lisa’s book is, “The Artistic Edge: 7 Skills Children Need to Succeed in an Increasingly Right Brain World”. This appeared on the ARTSblog, a program of Americans for the Arts.

By Lisa Phillips

1. Creativity – Being able to think on your feet, approach tasks from different perspectives and think ‘outside of the box’ will distinguish your child from others. In an arts program, your child will be asked to recite a monologue in 6 different ways, create a painting that represents a memory, or compose a new rhythm to enhance a piece of music. If children have practice thinking creatively, it will come naturally to them now and in their future career.
2. Confidence – The skills developed through theater, not only train you how to convincingly deliver a message, but also build the confidence you need to take command of the stage. Theater training gives children practice stepping out of their comfort zone and allows them to make mistakes and learn from them in rehearsal. This process gives children the confidence to perform in front of large audiences.
3. Problem Solving – Artistic creations are born through the solving of problems. How do I turn this clay into a sculpture? How do I portray a particular emotion through dance? How will my character react in this situation? Without even realizing it kids that participate in the arts are consistently being challenged to solve problems. All this practice problem solving develops children’s skills in reasoning and understanding. This will help develop important problem-solving skills necessary for success in any career.
4. Perseverance – When a child picks up a violin for the first time, she/he knows that playing Bach right away is not an option; however, when that child practices, learns the skills and techniques and doesn’t give up, that Bach concerto is that much closer. In an increasingly competitive world, where people are being asked to continually develop new skills, perseverance is essential to achieving success.
5. Focus – The ability to focus is a key skill developed through ensemble work. Keeping a balance between listening and contributing involves a great deal of concentration and focus. It requires each participant to not only think about their role, but how their role contributes to the big picture of what is being created. Recent research has shown that participation in the arts improves children’s abilities to concentrate and focus in other aspects of their lives.
6. Non-Verbal Communication – Through experiences in theater and dance education, children learn to breakdown the mechanics of body language. They experience different ways of moving and how those movements communicate different emotions. They are then coached in performance skills to ensure they are portraying their character effectively to the audience.
7. Receiving Constructive Feedback – Receiving constructive feedback about a performance or visual art piece is a regular part of any arts instruction. Children learn that feedback is part of learning and it is not something to be offended by or to be taken personally. It is something helpful. The goal is the improvement of skills and evaluation is incorporated at every step of the process. Each arts discipline has built in parameters to ensure that critique is a valuable experience and greatly contributes to the success of the final piece.
8. Collaboration – Most arts disciplines are collaborative in nature. Through the arts, children practice working together, sharing responsibility, and compromising with others to accomplish a common goal. When a child has a part to play in a music ensemble, or a theater or dance production, they begin to understand that their contribution is necessary for the success of the group. Through these experiences children gain confidence and start to learn that their contributions have value even if they don’t have the biggest role.
9. Dedication – When kids get to practice following through with artistic endeavors that result in a finished product or performance, they learn to associate dedication with a feeling of accomplishment. They practice developing healthy work habits of being on time for rehearsals and performances, respecting the contributions of others, and putting effort into the success of the final piece. In the performing arts, the reward for dedication is the warm feeling of an audience’s applause that comes rushing over you, making all your efforts worthwhile.
10. Accountability – When children practice creating something collaboratively they get used to the idea that their actions affect other people. They learn that when they are not prepared or on-time, that other people suffer. Through the arts, children also learn that it is important to admit that you made a mistake and take responsibility for it. Because mistakes are a regular part of the process of learning in the arts, children begin to see that mistakes happen. We acknowledge them, learn from them and move on.

Playfully, 
Toylady Janet

My children and I recommend these art experiences! Indy has so many opportunities to offer in the area of the arts!

Jr. Civic theater classes 

CYT - Christian Youth Theater classes

Kindermusick

The Music Playhouse 

My Art Indy drawing classes

Trip Trap Memory Tracks

Dear My Toy Garden friends!

The doors were heavy...so heavy for a little guy to push. He was determined though to open the door by himself. He'd huff and he'd puff and with the subtle hand of a parent to help, that door led to a hallway with another door. Two more hallways and two more doors and a brisk breeze announced our arrival into the alley. Alleys are secret places...shortcuts past delivery bays, dumpsters and back doors with labels long since faded away. He trip trapped his tiny steps along the alley with us when, there it was....at first, a faint rumbling. He froze in place, arched his back and looked up. In a blink, the rumble became an explosion of rattling that raced right above his head. A real live train so close by! THE highlight of our trip to Chicago for our little Nicholas.

Sure, it's easier to just stay home. An object at rest wants to remain at rest is very true. Have you ever had the experience though of a Friday night party you're invited too... You want to go but you just got home from work or it's been a long day home with the kids. You just want your jammies, a cup of tea and an early bedtime for the kids? You get ready though and head off. Once you get there, you laugh and laugh and so enjoy yourself, you are so glad you went. Has that happened to you? I think traveling, especially with kids, is like that. It's work to plan and pack and actually go. Once there, though, it's soooo worthwhile! Why?

1) A break in routine refreshes the soul and gives you renewed energy for the next challenges. This is why at My Toy Garden we provide toys for adults on down. Adults as much as children need a 10-minute "vacation" from their day to recharge. Play is an essential healthy part of a balanced life.

2) Show your children the world. Where do people live? Where do they work? How do they move about? Where do they go to school? What do they do for fun? We forget unless we venture out a bit that there is a wide multitude of answers to those questions. On our trip to Chicago last weekend, our oldest loved seeing all the apartment buildings with so many people snuggled so close to one another. The concept that many people did not own a car was fun to talk with her about and show her the many ways to get around the city. We walked, rode a bus, rode the train and saw taxis and had such fun!

3) Make family memories. Trips like this are worth it for the memories they create. What are some of your best child hood memories? Do some revolve around trips you took?

Trips like our weekend to Chicago last weekend can be done for a reasonable amount. Here's how we saved money! 
1) I use www.airbnb.com whenever I travel. It's a great website to finding condos, homes etc that are way better than a hotel and usually much less expensive. Our Chicago condo was $145/night with a separate bedroom for my husband and I, laundry, full kitchen (eating in saves a ton), a hot tub and a rooftop observation deck. 

2) I also recommend Spot Hero for great parking deals. We paid $16 for a $25 overnight spot for each of the 2 nights we were there. Super easy to use and great customer service! 

3) Scout out discounts to area attractions. The Shedd Aquarium had 3 daily rates posted at the ticket window. Thanks to my research ahead of time, I knew of another option not posted that saved us $16. Make that one free night of parking!

I invite you to make plans now for a weekend getaway to one of the many nearby places to explore! This blog called Midwest Family Travel may give you some ideas for inspiration!

For those of you with special needs children, I know travel is much more difficult for you. Routines are all the more important for this group of children making travel more challenging. I found this list of Top Travel Destinations for Kids with Special Needs and I loved that they have thought of many ways to help provide much needed respite for all. They also publish this list of ways to make travel easier. Amazing things are possible! We watched a movie while in Chicago that I know will be in my heart for years to come. It's called Darius Goes West and it's a documentary about a 15-year-old boy with MD who, with the help of 11 of his friends, travels out West and back from Athens, GA. It's an incredible story of persistence, commitment, love of life and a desire to make a difference. May we all have a bit of Darius in us! Now where is your next adventure to?!

Playfully, 
Toylady Janet

95% Diaper Free at 18 Months

 Dear My Toy Garden friends!

     Those little toes..little nose...mid afternoon post feeding snoozes on the couch...first smiles...first teeth...Those first few months with a new baby are so amazing aren't they?  Universally though parents agree that diapers are one thing they are anxious to be done with sooner than later!  My Toy Garden is here to help with some potty training tips this week!
    As many of you already know, I am a mom as well and struggle to juggle the demands that come with that honor just like you.  Potty training was one area that went pretty smoothly at our house.  Both of my children were fully daytime potty trained by age 2.  Nighttime is a whole other conversation for another day.  :-) Here are a few things I did that worked for me.  May they help those of you about to be or who are in the process of being diaper free!  Please join our popular [FB conversation](http://www.facebook.com/mytoygarden) about the subject and add your ideas for success as well!

First of all, Gear Up!
      You need 2 things before you begin this adventure.
1)  Potty Seat - I used a [step ladder potty seat like this one](http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=537132&cmSource=Search) and loved it!  Using a big potty can be very scary and using a seat like this makes big potties kid friendly and makes the transition to a big potty so easy!  This seat has a step to climb up on which is fun.  The handles and smaller seat makes little buns feel secure.  It easily folds and stows for shared potties.  Best of all, big toilets weren't scary for my little ones because that's what they used from the beginning!  (Side note: I do agree with many of the reviews on this version of it.  I had 2 from them and the previous one was better quality.  There are others like it on the market though.)

2)  Training Pants - Many Facebook fans agree....Do Not Use Pullups!  Repeat...do not use Pullups!  They are diapers in disguise and will delay your child's success.  Your child needs to connect the "need to go potty" feelings with the outcome if they don't make it to the toilet on time. Put them in cloth training pants from the beginning.  A few times of hmm...what is that feeling? to   Hey!  My legs are wet!  will teach your child much faster.  Yes, it's a bit messy but floors can be cleaned.   Good news too is that yes, there are licensed character free underwear options out there!  Read this previous newsletter titled ["Leave My Underwear Alone!"](http://thetoygardenshop.blogspot.com/2012/03/leave-my-underwear-alone.html) for my thoughts on that.

Start Early - In the 1950's 100% of children wore cloth diapers and so parents were highly motivated to potty train.  95% of children in the 1950's were potty trained by 18 months.  Yep, you read that right.  95% of children were potty trained by 18 months!  With both of my children, as soon as they could walk really well, we started learning to use the potty.  By watching for their cues and setting expectations for routines like we use the potty before and after nap and after meals, it didn't take long for them to do it on their own.  Children are capable of far more than we often give them credit for.   The longer the habit of using a diaper goes on for, the longer and harder it will be to teach them a new habit.

Bare Buns - One reason why the average age of a potty trained child now is 30 months is that we are busy, busy, busy.  To potty train quickly, it does require a time investment.  Mark out a chunk of time to stay home as much as possible...slow down a bit....give them lots of water to drink and let those little buns run free around the house.  A week or two of focused opportunities will speed along the process tremendously.  Carpet cleaners can be hired with the money saved by not buying diapers anymore.

Read - Books help child understand things at their level and potty training is a great area for that!  Read about children learning to use the potty and paint the picture for them of what it's all about.  This was on of our favs...[On Your Potty](http://www.valorebooks.com/textbooks/on-your-potty-george-and-bartholomew/9780763612689?utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=Froogle&utm_source=Froogle)! We got it free from the Carmel library.   You can also get it online... note you can get books from other sites besides Amazon.... I digress...

Potty Toys -  Make sitting on the potty a fun time with toys and books they can only play with while sitting on the potty.  Sing songs, draw pictures, play sock puppets....anything to keep them sitting them for a bit.  

Celebrate - When they are successful, whoop and holler, dance, make up a cheer and go over the top wahoo on them!  Call Grandma and Grandpa...fuss, fuss, fuss!   Everyone loves to be praised and positive energy will take you a long way on this subject.   Sometimes small rewards can be motivating as well.

The Whole Poop - Many report that getting your child to poop on the potty was a challenging milestone.  The best advice I've heard is be aware of your child's system and what does in it.  The more natural foods such as vegetables and water that go in, the better things come out.  Fill them with processed foods and other things and much time will pass before they do.  Most children have a regular time to be regular.  Time to have them on the potty during those times of day with lots of toys and books to distract them.

How a Potty Functions - This last tip comes directly from my youngest.  He was obsessed with how a toilet works.  He loves for you to take the back off the toilet and he'll tell you all about the flapper, the valve and the floater.   For him, a motivator to go is to be able to watch all the magic that happens in that secret back tank that happens when you flush.  For other future engineers, this might just do the trick!

Good luck!  Stay positive with your "this is what we do" attitude and you'll soon be waving bye-bye to diapers!


Playfully,
Toylady Janet

My Power 10

Dear My Toy Garden friends!

     It's time once again.  It's so hard to do and yet I so look forward to it.  I park my car, grab my computer and walk across the parking lot.  I mentally rehearse the secret code.  I slip the key in the door and feel the lock click open.  The beeps begin increasing in pace as I quicken my pace and silence them.  My coat is hung from the hook, the office light turned on and there it is....my desk.  My desk which holds a mountain of tasks and a mountain of possibilities.    Running a toy store alongside being mom of 2 small children, as you can imagine, means my to do list gets a little insane at times.  The temptation when I first arrive each day is to roll up my sleeves and dive into the piles of tasks to be done.  But I don't.  I've something far more important to do.  My Power 10.
     I decided last summer that it was time for me.  Time to take care of myself.  To do things that feed my spirit and center me on what I value.  But how when the puppet strings of life tug this way and that?  The Power 10 began.
      Each morning when I've silenced the alarm and turn to my desk, the first thing I do is set my phone alarm timer for 10 minutes.  I open a book and read.  Totally focused....totally immersed...totally engaged for 10 minutes.  It's MY 10 minutes.  It took practice to ignore the tasks taunting me from all angles.  But now, it's a precious 10 minutes I so enjoy.  Do I do it every day?  Nope.  I miss some days.  Guess which days go more smoothly than others?  I've come to learn that 10 minutes sets the tone for much of the rest of my day. When I choose to pass on it, I find way more than 10 minutes of my day gets tangled in challenges.  When I stick to the Power 10 Plan, my day seems to go so much smoother.
   How about you?  Do you give yourself the joy of just 10 minutes of your day?  10 minutes to do something that blesses you mentally, spiritually, physically?  Do it and don't feel guilty for one minute of the precious 10.   You deserve it.  Start today to commit to that Power 10 once a day and then get crazy and maybe even do 2 Power 10's in one day!
    Ten minutes of truly focused time on a task will reenergize you and help you conquer challenges with ease.  What to do with your 10 minutes?  Here's a few ideas!  Feel free to add more of your own on our Facebook page?
1.  Read something that touches your spirit.
2.  Focus completely on your child.
3.  Focus completely on your spouse. Read something together each night.  Sure makes a difference for Tim and I!
4.  Stretch.
5.  Call a relative or friend to keep in touch.
6.  Tackle a big task in 10 minutes power focus chunks.  Goodbye overfull inbox! Goodbye cluttered closet or drawer!
7.  Do a craft or puzzle from My Toy Garden to release stress.
8.  Close your eyes and do absolutely nothing...my fav and one of my most powerful!

Hugs My Toy Garden friends!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

Taming the Toy Monster in Your House

Dear My Toy Garden friends!

The tree is hauled to the curb or stuffed back in it's box. The decorations squirrelled away for another year. The belt loosened a notch out and our gym pass moved a notch up. The toys...well...the toys. They have devoured the house like bubbles in a bathtub. They are stacked here and there and over yonder and spilling down the hallway. What's a family to do to tame the toy monster in their house? My Toy Garden to the rescue once again! Below are my top 3 tips for restoring order to your house.

1- Only put out as many toys as you want to teach your child to pick up

This is key. If you offer your child a few items to pick and choose from, there's plenty of choices to entertain yet a small enough amount to maintain. If you put out all of their toys, they...nor you..can possibly keep them picked up. Get a small bookcase and put out 10-12 items. Put the rest away out of sight. Put them in a closet, under a bed, in the basement...but out of sight. If you have a big playroom, put curtains or doors over most of the shelves.

2 - Use the Garage Sale Theory and Rotate Things

You know that picture that's hung on your wall for 4 years or that dress that's been in your closet for longer? It's time for them to go, right? You decide to have a garage sale so you move them to the garage and what happens? Oh, I kinda like it. Hmm...maybe I shouldn't get rid of it... You see it in a new light. Same goes with toys. Leave out all their toys all the time and they become invisible and you have a bored child on your hands. Put out 10-12 like I mention above and rotate a few of them out every week or two and you can have a small collection of toys that lasts for years. Of course, you'll want to have the imagination powered, versatile toys like we carry at My Toy Garden!

3 - Avoid toy boxes and large totes or bins.

These are where toys go to die. What lives at the bottom of a toy box? A sea of lost parts only useful for fun collages. What size purse do you carry? Is it organized? To keep toys organized use individual containers. Clear ones ideally. Facebook Fan Stephanie says they use large ice cream tubs for their toys. Great idea! What ever you use, it should hold one toy and all it's pieces. Clearly label the outside with words and, if your child is a nonreader, a picture. Clip a picture from the box and tape in on or a photograph of the toy in it's happy new stage works great. Even a stick person drawing will help keep toys organized. Another great idea is to use drawstring bags with labels. Hang up coat hooks on one wall and poof! Tidy toys! So what do you use that toy box from grandma for? Pile it the stuffed animals or stuff it with dress up clothes for hours of fun!

More tips to come in future newsletters! Got more ideas? Join the conversation on our Facebook page! 
Playfully, 
Toy Lady Janet

The Comfort Rut

Dear My Toy Garden friends!

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” 
― Margaret Mead

Events such as that in CT last week upset up, cause us discomfort, make us shake our heads. As an elementary teacher for 17 years, this event was very upsetting and my heart aches for those involved. Do events like this change our behavior though? Not usually. We grieve. We mourn. We cry. Then we return to our safe world of routines and this story like others before fade into history. Much like a tire in a deep rut that it travels daily, our behaviors seek the path that is comfortable for us. The path that we know. I invite you to be uncomfortable...to seek a new path..to make a change. Worthwhile change is never easy. It take effort. Our busy lives try to put us back in the rut of comfort. It can be different if you choose it to be...one small change at a time..one day at a time. In light of the sad news from CT, it is more and more important every day that we make changes. What changes can we make?

1. Care about others. Really care about others. This time of year, we mail out holiday cards and buy an obligatory gift feeling that it shows we care. Gift giving is so much more fun when it comes from the heart and you find just the right gift for someone. What gift can you give that shows you truly care? It might be a phone call, dinner together, a shared book to enjoy together, an offer to babysit so a overwhelmed couple can have a date night...lots of possibilities not often found in stores.
2. We can educate ourselves about special needs children and adults and seek active ways we can improve the world for them. As a teacher for many years, the most common concern I heard from my special needs families was the way they were judged by others to be bad parents. Many families are desperately seeking help for children they don't know how to help. My youngest is adopted and has an uncle, Zeus, who is 12 now. His grandmother has spent 2 1/2 years talking to anyone and everyone she can to help her. Zeus is a fetal alcohol child prone to violent outbursts and irrational behaviors. He has pulled kitchen counters from the walls and threatened her with knives. She finally has him placed in a residential facility where he can be helped. It should not have been so hard for him to receive help. We can help by noticing, by offering help, by sincerely caring about one another, by engaging in respectful conversations that move things toward more help for these families. One voice added to another and to another can make a difference.
3. We can learn ways to prevent more children from becoming mentally ill. I believe genetics certainly play a role in mental illness. I also believe nutrition and chemicals in our environment play major roles too. I know in my 17 years in the classroom that the number of special needs children skyrocketed. It's not that we just knew more what to look for. We are creating more and more health problems (physical and mental) for our children through the choices we make in food and chemicals in our environment. There is much we can learn to be more in tune with how our bodies work and what we can do to be healthy. (One website I utilize is Skin Deep Database. It tells you the ingredients and level of neurotoxins in household and personal care products.) Things can be different. I invite you to explore this important piece more for your own family and talk with others about it as well. Now, more than ever, is a time to make changes that make a difference. Now before more lives are lost. Before more families suffer. I can. You can. We can. Together. My Toy Garden is here to support you on your journey!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet