Those Frozen Moment in Time

Dear My Toy Garden Friends, You are running late for work. You open the refrigerator door. Your hand reaches in and wraps around the orange juice carton. Your muscles flex and the carton lifts from the shelf. You pull it closer to you and you feel it slip from your hand. You watch as it falls in the floor suddenly caught in a slow motion camera of the eye. The corner hits the floor, dents and an ocean of orange juice gushes like a time elapsed photography lesson over the top and across the kitchen floor. You know those moments when time seems to freeze? It happens with every day things like orange juice slipping from your hand. It happens with major things. This summer, the Ash family had one of those moments that has changed their lives forever. They were on vacation with their family...mom, dad and 3 adorable little girls. They were headed out for some fun. With a group, they crossed a street as a driver, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, impatiently waited. As they crossed past him, he hurried on his way. What he didn't realize was that Kendall, the 5-year-old, had lagged behind the group and her crossing put her right in his path. I'm sure it must have been one of those slow motion moments for her parents, Tracy and Mike. One in which you'd do anything to truly have it freeze completely so you could move your child to safety. Kendall's journey of recovery has gone from critical care at DeVos hospital to inpatient at Riley to now returning home with lots of outpatient therapy and the daily worries of her parents, family and friends. She has now even begun her Kindergarten year, at the same school as my daughter, with 2 hours a day there. A long road still lies ahead for all of them. Please see the Care Pages link to learn more about her story and how you can support them with your prayers. Please hug your children... .....hold their hand as you cross the street or parking lot, .....teach them to look right, left, right again before crossing .....make sure they have helmets that fit and are worn correctly. .....as you drive, be extra vigilant. ....slow down and be extra aware of your surroundings both for enjoyment and for safety. Teach your children the same. I so admire her parents, Tracy and Mike Ash, as they work to balance all that has been handed them. I'm so thankful for the community of love that has surrounded them and prays for them. I'm honored to have an opportunity with the first My Toy Garden birthday party just ahead to give 20% of our sales that day to this special family to celebrate that Kendall is here to celebrate many more birthdays of her own and help ease a bit of the financial burden this experience has brought. Please join us and invite your friends to join us on Sat., Sept. 8 from 10-4 pm and help us help the Ash family. If you are not able to attend and would like to make a donation to the family, you may drop it off at the store anytime and we'll make sure they receive it. Thank you! Playfully, Toylady Janet

Sitting in My Office With Tears in My Eyes

Dear My Toy Garden friends,

Oh my.   It really is as hard as they say it will be.  I tried to prepare myself.  I tried to savor the last few days but here I sit in the rubble of my office sniffing with a box of Kleenex close at hand.  My little girl is officially off to Kindergarten today.
     As the piles around my office will attest, my focus has been on treasuring the last few days with my sweet girl. We went back to school shopping and found a fabulous sparkly skirt for the first day of school, sniffed some perfume for a touch of fancy, dined together and went to see her first big girl movie, Brave.  Another day yesterday filled with State Fair fun, hugs, kisses and denial that the dawn would bring a major change for our family.
     The sun could not be stopped though and this morning, Daddy, little brother and I walked her across the street to school. She was giddy, prancing like a pony, about to be set free.  A smile on her face containing more excitement than a million dollar lottery ticket holder.  Her Mama's heart though was full of many emotions.  I was excited for her as well to have reached this major milestone. Sad for the time lost with her lounging in the morning connecting. Excited to have some one-on-one time with her little brother to connect with him more.  Nervous for the friends she will make and hope that she'll make good ones.  Cautious, as a veteran elementary teacher, and knowing the challenges that come with the job.  Happy to be part of a new community full of possibilities.
      One of the toughest parts of parenting is learning to let your children go.  To give them their wings and freedom to explore the world.  As much as we want to envelope our children in our embrace and promise them that no harm will ever come to them, we know that is not reality.  Life will lead them to times of great joy and great sadness.  Our job is to nudge them out of the nest from time to time to strengthen their wings so one day they will fly high and make positive changes in the world in their own way.
   My Toy Garden sells toys.  Yes, that's true.  We are so much more than selling toys though.  This is a place where you can come and be listened to, cared for, hugged and celebrated for the tough work you do!  Thank you for being part of our family and letting us be part of yours!  May this new school year be full of many blessings for each of you!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

1, 2, 7, 9, 13, 4, 10!

Dear My Toy Garden friends,

Pssst....School is starting soon.  Sorry.  I have a little girl about to start Kindergarten so I understand more how heavy that calendar page is to turn.  Turn it we must and with it our thoughts begin to turn to the reading, 'ritin and 'rithmatic that comes with back to school.  What area(s) does your learner excel in?  Which do they find more challenging?  There are lots of easy way you can weave all academic areas into everyday life that will boost your child's confidence and make learning fun!  Below are a few ideas I've shared with families during my 17 years as a classroom teacher on how to make math click!  What other ideas do you have to add?  Please add your ideas to our Facebook back by clicking [here!](http://www.facebook.com/mytoygarden)

1.  Estimate and Count - How many cracks do you think are in the sidewalk between here and the road?  How many crayons do you think are in that bucket?  How many cars do you think we'll pass on the way to the grocery store? Estimate and then count to see how close your guess is.  This builds a strong number sense for children.  When you can invite them to count by 2's, 5's or 10's.

2.  Finger Flash - Another way to develop number sense for preschool/Kind age children, is flash your fingers showing a number and invite your child to see how fast they can tell you how may there are.  Ask to them to tell you how they know.  For example, hold up 5 on one hand and 3 on the other.  They shout, 8! and perhaps explain that they saw 5 and then counted 6, 7, 8.  Or maybe they saw 2 fingers down and knew it was 8 because they counted backwards from 10, 9, 8.  This should move them beyond counting 1 by 1 to grouping numbers and adding on.  Knowing more than one way to tackle a problem is a powerful thing!

3. Clock - Best way to teach a child how to tell time is to have a real clock...the old fashioned one with actual hands that tick tock their way around the face marking off each second, minute and hour.  With all digital clocks around you, it's challenging to understand the concepts of time.

4.  Carry Cash - Same is true with money.  When children always see a magic piece of plastic that when it gets swiped through a box and they get handed something, it's hard to develop money concepts.  Carry cash yourself for small purchases and have your child help you determine if you have enough, what your change should be, counting coins.  Give them an allowance of their own and teach them to spend, save and earn.  My Toy Garden's Moonjars are a very popular item for this reason!

5. Play Games - A few dice from our giant bowl of dice gives you lots of math games literally at your fingertips!  We have a whole math section of games including Flip 4, Sequence Numbers, and Loose Change.  One of the top sellers is the Learning Wrap Ups pictured below.  Pocket sized math fun that encourages children to quickly wrap the string around matching up facts and then self checking with the raised lines on the back to build confidence.  I had these in my classroom for many years and loved them!!

It won't be long until those new school routines are up and going. My Toy Garden is to help you along the way!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

5 Pairs of Shoes All Neat in a Row

Dear My Toy Garden friends,

Ding Dong. They were here. I'd been nervous about their arrival all morning. She'd asked if she could bring a few extra children along to the playdate. "Sure!" I'd said but my my inner voice thought....A few extra? How many? Who? Do they eat crayons? Will my cat be safe? The images that danced through my head were ones that often led to the need to go find my happy place. The moment had arrived and here they were. As the door swung open I saw her smiling face with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 smiles lined up behind her. They all had their hair brushed, ponytails perfectly poised and were wearing 2 shoes that matched. Those matched shoes were taken off and lined up neatly in pairs by their owners who all gave me a cheery, "Hi Mrs. Pillsbury! Thank you for inviting us over!"

Two hours passed and not a fuss, not a bother, not a "That's Mine" was heard. Instead, "Your turn", "Please" and "Thank you" were the norm of the morn. Time to go was greeted with an "Okay!" and a magical elf like whisking away of the toys to their proper places. Shoes returned to the proper feet. Each child thanked me for coming and quietly left.

What?!?! How does that happen?! Were they beaten before they came and threatened to be beaten afterwards? Nope, Sarah just knew the key to getting great behavior from children. Want to know more? Her secrets are revealed below.

Step #1 - Decide on Your Non-negotiables. What behavior is a must have in your home? Focus on one behavior at a time. Let some things slide to focus on the one that matters most to you. Children are human after all and make mistakes. Good behavior is taught and mastered with practice. It is not part of the DNA that suddenly sprouts when needed.

Step #2 - Explain the Chosen Behavior Clearly. Often times we expect children to read our minds. Why do they not know what "behave" means? Respectfully, calmly, clearly explain what is expected of them. Have eye contact and ask them to repeat to be sure the words didn't fall in one side and out the other.

Step #3 - Use Positive Phrasing. Say, "Don't Run" or "Don't Hit" to a child and what they hear is "Run!" and "Hit!" The negative words seems to fall away and the other word given more emphasis than ever. Try "Walk please" or "Be gentle with your hands please" instead. Phrasing desired behavior in positive terms makes it heard more clearly and more likely to be followed.

Step #4 - Adopt a Mantra. Choose a phrase that when the going gets tough, you can murmur over and over to your child like a broken record until that phase has past. For me, it's "This is What We Do." But I want....this is what we do. But I need....this is what we do. If I.....this is what we do. If you are consistent when they are persistent, you will reach your goal in the long run. Cave once...just once... and you'll take 4 times longer to reach the goal than you would have. We are the grown ups. We just need to do it one more time than they do. Trust me. It's sooo worth it in the long run!

Step #5 - Repeat with the next non-negotiable behavior. I've used this technique with both of my children from everything from please and thank you to potty training them both by age 2. Parenting is a super tough job and you can do it with a little help from your My Toy Garden friends! We're here for you!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

Ten Toes and a Nose Need a New Home

Ten little fingers, ten little toes and a cute little nose. You've washed them. Counted them. Kissed them a thousand times. Now you need to find the perfect place for those fingers and toes to continue to grow while you are away during the day. No small task for parents these days. Staying home full time is not an option for many families and looking for childcare is a hard task to tackle. How do you find the right match for you and your child?

I am in the process of this challenge right now. My youngest, Nicholas, is 2. I love being with him...most of the time. He is 2 after all. :-) He needs to be in a loving environment for at least 3 days during the week. I'm thankful to those who have helped care for him already. It's hard to make changes in child care. But here I go again... Below is my checklist of questions to ask when considering childcare. This is a major decision that needs time to make well. My biggest thing is to trust my instincts. If you have any concerns at all, it's not the right match for you. I meet with each possible provider in person at their place preferable while they have children there. What other questions do you think would be helpful? How do you go about looking for childcare? Please add your thoughts on our Facebook page!

1. Where are you located? (A great place to start! What will your drive be like?)
2. What are your hours? (Is there any flexibility? What if you are late? )
3. What are your rates? (Do you pay if your child is sick? If they are sick? Are there standard days they'll be closed?)
4. How many children are there? What are their ages? Tell me a bit more about them. (Listen for personality matches or conflicts with your child's personality.)
5. What other adults will help care for my child? (Get to know them as well as the primary caregiver. If your child will be alone with them, you want to know them. )
6. Are you licensed? (This may or may not matter to you. My daughter's provider was not licensed and she was great. Learn more about the process to decide what's best for you.)
7. What does a typical day look like? (Are there consistent routines? Is their structured and unstructured playtime? What happens during pickup/drop off?)
8. What are your thoughts on use of television? ( For me, this is important. We do not have cable at home and do not watch much tv. I want a provider with similar thoughts on it.)
9. Do you provide meals? Tell me more about that. (Are their allergy challenges or dietary wishes to keep in mind? Can you pack their lunch if you want?)
10. Is your program religious? (This is important for some to be part of the environment and for others, important that it not be. Good to know up front.)
11. How do you handle challenging behaviors? (I love to visit while children are there so you have an opportunity to most likely see how they handle behavior issues. Do they use time out? If so, what does that look like?)
12. How will you let me know about my child's day? (I love knowing what my child does during the day! Especially when they can't/won't tell you themselves. Some provider have a newsletter, website, email pics, etc....)

and, of course,

1. Do you shop at My Toy Garden? :-) If so, you'll know they'll have great toys to play with packed with learning opportunities!

Invite them to register for the Educator's Shopping Spree program if they haven't already and 3% of your purchase will go on an account for them to have a shopping spree! We have over 30 schools registered in this program already and welcome more! Registration form in on the front page of our website along with more info.

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

Wisdom from Half Chewed Candy

Dear My Toy Garden friends,

The hand dipped into the bucket and whoosh! A rainbow of color cascaded once again through the air landing with a pitter patter. Little hands scurried to remove all signs it was ever there. A few minutes later...another hand....another whoosh...another rainbow and poof! It vanished as if it had evaporated into the pavement. It was the highlight of the day for many children. No, not the marching bands, or the floats or the character costumes. Not the motorcycles, fire engines or 8-seated bicycle. The highlight of the 4th of July parade for the children is the candy. Second only to Halloween for it's sugar collection.

My family and I joined the tens of thousands of others to brave the heat and enjoy this annual tradition. This year, we were joined curbside by 3 young boys. Three boys who, at first, leaped to gather like pros. They were not aware of a little girl next to them with an empty bag. It took a few direct requests from me and then they began to share a bit of the bounty.

Halfway through the parade, the pile of candy became too much for the youngest boy near me. He selected the chosen first piece, unwrapped it and popped it in his mouth. Not finding it to his liking, he thhhhwt....spat it into the street in the path of the oncoming parade marchers. An observant adult behind him questioned him and, despite his denial that is was his, guided him to remove it from the impending soles of the marching band's shoes.

Sharing/Thinking of others is an art form not part of a child's genetic code with which they are born. Learning to share comes from repeated opportunities to practice words and actions that put others before them. Children are, to their core, very egocentric beings for much of their early years. According to Maslow, they focus on getting their basic needs for food, rest, security met before all else. I believe that we, as the grown ups in this world, can begin building a child's ability to see others and their needs one connection at a time. We can build less of a Me, Me, Me generation and more of a We, We, We generation. How?

Hold a door open for another. Deliver a hand drawn picture to a neighbor just because. Pay for the bill of the car behind you in a drive through. Volunteer for a local charity. Drop a quarter on purpose in a public place. Learn a few magic tricks and visit the nursing home. Smile at another. Sincerely check in on your friends and family. Children watch what we do. What are your actions saying to them about how you care for others? How do you invite them to show a we focus rather than a me focus. Important behaviors like this do not happen overnight but rather one conversation at a time. My Toy Garden is here to support you with a listening ear, an extra pair of hands, words of support and ideas for moving to the next step! Stop by for a hug, a hello and help anytime!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet

From Frog to Tadpole

Dear My Toy Garden friends,

Summer time routines...suit on, sunscreen on, towel in hand...off we walked to the pool for another afternoon of bliss.  We arrive, set up camp on our favorite chair, pop the umbrella up and splash into the toddler pool.  Ten minutes pass with the usual smiles and laughs jumping and diving and then my daughter's eyes open wide and she freezes for a moment.  Mom!  Mom.  I can swim.  I can swim!  And indeed she could.  She suddenly put all the pieces together of the last few summers and the last 100 trips to the pool and she got it. She got it! She can swim!  We moved to the big pool and with a slight pause at leaving her floaties behind, we spent the next hour swimming from the steps of the pool to my open arms and back.  My little land frog now a tadpole swimming once again.
   What total joy it is to see your child reach a major goal.  To see their confidence explode as they celebrate their victory.  These moments are so critical for their development.  It's these moments that they need to savor and cling to when the next challenge comes along.  These victories etched in their memories and echoing on their lips give them the assurance that they have done it and they can do it once again.  Here's a few ideas on how to help your child reach those goals that shape their character in strong positive ways.

1.  **Expose your child to multiple activities.**  Let them discover where their talents might be.  This is exactly why My Toy Garden is laid out in the 7 Pathways of Wonder.  We invite you to explore each area with your children.
2.  **Decide on a goal.**  What new skill would they like to learn?  To master the weaving loom?  To learn 5 new tricks on the Spooner Boards?  To build the Q-ba-Maze fish?  To discover the secrets behind magic tricks?  To Walk the Dog and Rock the Baby with their new yoyo?
3.  **Visualize the ending** - Write it down.  Draw a picture. Photoshop it.  What you think about, you bring about.  Help your child to think in terms of the possibilities.  You are going to have such fun when you blank.  You are going to be so proud when you blank.  Your friends won't believe how you can blank.
4.  **Praise, praise, praise.**  Big goals are reached by celebrating the small steps along the way.  Praise is the upward lift when the going gets tough.
5.  **Celebrate.**  When the goal is reached, whoop, hollar, dance, make up a song....celebrate big time!   Imprint on their memories how very special they are and how proud you are of them for not giving up.
6.  **Share your stores.**  What challenges have you overcome?  What victories are you most proud of? Share those stories with your children.  They love to hear about when you were a kid!

Playfully,
Toylady Janet